Friday, March 12, 2010
Theory Relating Pregnancy and Teaching....
So, I have come to the conclusion that while teaching I release oxytocin, the same hormone released during childbirth. This hormone does a number of things during childbirth but one of its primary functions is to give the orgasmic feel that makes you forget how painful it is pushing something the size of a melon out of something so small. So, my theory is that while I'm going through the painful process of teaching these kids, I'm releasing a large amount of oxytocin making me forget how much I hate them some times. This theory stems from the fact that while I'm teaching the little devils I tell myself how much I want to kill myself but by the time I get home I'm all happy and love the kids again. What is this freakish weirdness taking over my body?! Is this the mythical maternal instincts that was thought to not exist in this child hating, woman's body? I don't understand! Why, even though I'm continuously pushed to the brink of self destruction, do I still love these midget Satans?
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Hi Shayna: ok that is strange! The orgasmic teacher? You have me wondering if my grade school teachers did this? If they did, even at that age I would have been on a mission to burn every bed in town because they where very unattractive. I'm going to have nightmares from this! I hope your happy. Does all this come from spending too many nights locked in your apartment, with the lights off, not making a sound? Lets go back and recap! You where in a dark alley, in the middle of the night, jumped on seven korean guys like a drunken sailor and wondered why one of them was stalking you?! End of part one------
ReplyDeleteWow! You make is sound so bad! Hahaha! And I didn't jump on them, I drunkenly stumbled into them!
ReplyDeleteHi Shayna: Part two--. Ok lets talk about the miget satans. I know some too! There bigger now and there names are Ryan, Shayna and Dane. They were just hell on a hangover and not much better on the sober state! This often lead to drinking earlier in the day and yet a worse hangover the next day for the miget satans to feed upon! The moral of this is "pay back is a bitch"!!!!
ReplyDeleteHave fun!!!! U. Joe